Last week I got tired of a dirty trick the prosecutors in Maine occasionally pull. There's one prosecutor in particular who was doing this sneaky thing all the time. Basically, he reads the statute in a way that he thinks permits him to file a motion to revoke a client's bail and have him or her arrested, all without notifying defense counsel until the unsuspecting person is snatched off the street and thrown in the pokey.
I have never understood how he figures he can justify filing a secret motion. So when he tried it on a client of mine I filed a feisty motion for sanctions. I said the prosecutor was deliberately misleading the court and was misreading the law. He was all sanctimonious and offended, which is how I knew I had struck a nerve.
We had a two hour hearing that was pretty contentious. In chambers with the judge the prosecutor called me "incompetent" and when we were discussing the case the week before the hearing he asked me if I was ready for the judge to "tear you a new asshole." (I wasn't. How would you prepare for that kind of event?)
Well I did not need to suffer that medical indignity. Instead my incompetence was rewarded with a favorable ruling from the judge. The prosecutor displayed the poor-grace typical of his ilk when he questioned the judge's decision and then stomped out of the courtroom like a three-year old.
What I determined is that prosecutors don't lose often enough, so when they do, they are unable to do so with dignity. I will do what I can to train as many prosecutors as possible to lose with good manners.
I also decided that I am perfectly fine being called "incompetent" by a sore loser. Particularly when I win.
Here's that article anyway: